100 Things Gaara Would Never Do


1. Stand on a cliff and weep while his hair blows in the wind sad-movie style.
2. Get eyebrows tattooed on and forever look surprised.
3. waterskii in the Olympics.
4. Get his arm stuck in his sand-gourd.
5. Randomly start speaking Spanish instead of Japanese to confuse the hell out of the translators.
6. Fall asleep in a sandbox because it reminds him of home.
7. Inform a random Organization XIII member that they smell like a saddle. (mmm leather)
8. Have his picture taken wearing one of those Micky Mouse ear hats.
9. Design a line of panties with huge-sparkley-eyed kitties on them.
10. Challenge a cop to a drag race
11. Challenge a Drag Queen to a cop race...wait..what!?
12. slide on the tile in his socks only to slip and fall. (*ahem*)
13. Respond to anything anyone says with random Family Guy quotes.
14. Inform Saix that he is bad-shit-insane. (seriously)
15. Cry because Futurama is no longer played on Adult Swim
16. Lick his finger and rub a smudge off Naruto's cheek
17. Prance around singing My Boyfriend's Back
18. Become a famous rapper only to get shot and die thus becoming even more famous
19. Yell "Quickly Kankuro to the Batmobile!!"
20. Become a flower child and change his name to Princess-Flower-Sparkle-Rainbow-Unicorn-Bartholemew-Daisy.
21. Be yaoi paddled at Mega-Con.
22. Discover a secret path that leads from Konoha to The Wendys between the Taco Bell and the Arby's in Cape Coral Florida.
23. Say "Of course you know, this means war." At the begining of his fight with Rock Lee.
24. Fall madly and deeply in love with the "LEAVE BRITNEY ALOONNNEE!!" you-tube guy...girl....person.
25. While on a long trip, turn to Kankuro and say "Are we still on Namic?"
26. Get together with Kakashi, Shino, Iruka and Draco and protest the 100 THINGS.
27. Google himself.
28. Scream and giggle when he sees a celebrity.
29. Yell "We must kung-foo fight!" and make loud steriotypical fung-foo movie noises.
30. Play Halo3 on Xbox Live for 93 straight hours. (93?)
31. Say "Ninjas suck I'm becoming a pirate...or a wizard...or some other box office friendly thing."
32. Scream "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick somone in the chest.  
33. complain about how he paid $8 to go see a movie about overly-muscled men in chainmail speedos and red capes after seeing 300.
34. Become a nude model for artists.
35. Enjoy being glomped.
36. Start a random music montage in the middle of a boring speech.
37. Jump on Opra's couch.
38. Go on bus tour of Italy.
39. Eat anything that makes normal people go 'ewwww' for 5 bucks.
40. Jump out of a plane.
41. Ralize he doesn't have a parachute(omg sp?)
42. Call somone an 'asshat'.
43. Be arrested for lighting off illegal fireworks.
45. Change clothes before the time-skip. (does everyone only have one damn outfit!? geeze.)
46. Suck his thumb.
47. Suck anything for that matter...
48. Help Naruto move into a new apartment.
49. Be elected President of the Universe
50. Tell a story involving a cat, a banana cream pie, a fat jewish guy, an Xbox 360 controler and a blank CD.
51. Kill us all after finding about how many times he's been slashed and with how many different people.
52. Thunderglomp the hell out of Orochimaru.
53. Go to Taco Bell and order a burger.
54. Got to Pizza Hut and order a taco.
55. Go to *insert random fast food place here* and order *insert random competeing food item here*. (*insert obligitory 'insertion' joke here*)
56. Check to make sure Deidara actually is a man.
57. say "Bow chicka bow wow" after anyone says anything even remotely sexual.
58. Learn the words to 'The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.'
59. Be used as a plot device...oh wait..
60. Fall in love with your Mary Sue.
61. Know what the hell a Mary Sue even is.
62. Pose in a bikini on the hood of a car.
63. Ice skate.
64. Buy flavored condoms.
65. Be hit with with a water balloon by Sesshoumaru.
66. Trip.
65. Learn how to make fantastic duct tape flowers.
66. Be made of anything but Emoness and Badassery
67. Lick Rock Lee merely to please fangirls.
68. Inform random passers by that he needs sexual healing.
69. Get reeeaaalllyyyy close to the camera, squint and say 'diabetus' rite before a commericial break.
70. Accuse Neji in the conservatory with the lead pipe.
71. Do anything just for the sake of fanfiction.
72. become your personal sex-toy
73. Buy mass amounts of man-jewlery.
74. Smile and make a peace sign for a family picture.
75. heve some random scientist prove that he is in fact the reason for global warming.
76. Use cheap pickup lines on Tsunade.
77. Use the word 'snarky'.
78. Pay my boyfriend to write his term-paper for him.
79. Babysit.
80. Convince you to buy a $500 dress from some high end boutique(omg sp again!?)
81. Grow a beard then shave it off.
82. Dress as Inuyasha after losing a bet.
83. Be a brides maid at my wedding.
84. Use his sand to give people sneak-wedgies.
85. Get butt implants.
86. Be the spokesman for the new 'natural male enhancement' product.'
87. Put on a pair of sunglasses and join Kakashi and Shino. (see # 14 of 100 THINGS Kakashi if you don't get it)
88. Deafen Leela with a foghorn he got from the robot devil.
89. Fire his makeup artist and be forced to learn to apply his liquid eyeliner himself.
90. Treat Naruto to a bowl of ramen at Ichiraku.
91. Join the army.
92. Teach signlanguage to gorillas at the zoo because he thinks it'll look good on a college application.
93. Get in big trouble for being caught having AIMsex.
94. Throw kunai's at a dartboard.
95. Inform Naruto that putting orange with blue is a huge crime against fashion.
96. Discover that he is the real king of Norway.
97. loose his virginity to a mechanical bull.
98. Laugh at Kim Possible cause she has triangle boobs.
99. Develop a sudden allergy to sand and be forced to actually do some real ninjaing for once.
100. Discover that he has a fantastic singing voice.