100 THINGS DRACO MALFOY WOULD NEVER DO



1. date a mudblood
2. buy a fantasy trick wand from Fred and George's shop
3. bring Harry flowers in the hospital wing
4. dye his hair red and pretend to be a weasley
5. wear an 'I love Harry' pin
6. ask Madeye Moody to turn him back into a ferrit for old time's sake
7. have a duel with Ron over who gets to marry Hermione
8. wear pink tights
9. tell Voldemort that his cloak makes him look fat
10. get a picture of Hagrid tattooed on his butt
11. use magic to stop world hunger
12. go on a world tour with the wiggles
13. sing a JLo song for American Idol tryouts
14. use the phrage 'grody to the max!' in normal conversation
15. ask Lupin to adopt him
16. cry because his daddy beats him with a pimp cane
17. use magic to give himself kitty ears
18. buy a pink pigmy puff and name it Harold
19. have a stareing contest to the death with the gargoyle in front of Dumbledor's office
20. put his cloak in a closet and find Narnia
21. ride a centaur
22. join S.P.E.W
23. write a poem about fluffy bunnies
24. dot every 'i' he writes with a heart
25. adopt an orphan from Africa
26. invent a new sex position and name it the 'Canadian Snowball' (inside joke XD )
27. plan his future on the answers from a magic 8 ball
28. try to play connect the dots on Ron's face
29. have a steamy affair with Percy Weasley
30. sing a duet with Aragog
31. try to set up Aragog with the big female spider from LOTR
32. ask Dobby to bring him  tropical drink with a little umbrela in it
33. tell people that Legolas is his long lost older brother
34. go to Booksa'Million and buy a cookbook
35. use the room of requirement as a place to draw dirty yaoi pics of him and Harry
36. become adicted to the Sims
37. fall asleep in Slughorn's arms
38. join a herbology club
39. go everywhere riding on a huge blast ended skrewt named Bartholamew
40. wear a pair of pointy ballet flatts
41. model in a Victoria's Secret runway show
42. become Hogwarts first slug wrangler
43. sleep on Scooby Doo sheets
44. be fired from Burger King
45. attempt a hoodslide like Bo Duke
46. win a sack race
47. tell Snape that Crookshanks ate his homework
48. cosplay as Naruto
49. blush because Ginny called him pretty
50. pose naked for the sake of fanservice
51. be in the front row of a male underwear fashion show
52. sit naked under a tree by the great lake and claim to be 'communing with nature'
53. become greatly interested in the love lives of the Hogwarts teachers
54. rip off his cloak to reveal a spiked collar leather corset and a red lace thong
55. insist that he is in face the prettiest girl in school
56. put on a pair od sunglasses and refer to harry as 'Mr. Anderson'
57. become a regular cast member of CSI Miami
58. declare Slytherin's new color to be 'Electric Beige'
59. randomly start stripping on a table in the great hall
60. join the save the sea otter movement
61. become a deviant under the user name 'Pottersbitch247'
62. gain 123lbs. and cry about it on Oprah
63. start an underwear line named Ocard
64. join Organization 13 and be referd to as Xacrod
65. have a threesome with Fread and George
66. confess undieing love for Blaise Zabini
67. compete on 'Dancing with the Stars'
68. play the part of Mimi in RENT
69. break into a rendition of 'Jesus take the Wheel' in the middle of divination class
70. call Snape a cheap team killing whore
71. challenge Paris Hilton to a pie eating contest
72. become a world famous bikini model
73. insist that his hair isnt 'twinkley' enough
74. walk up to Hermione and apologize for all the mean things that he has ever said to her
75. skip through a firld of wild flowers with Barney and Bambie
76. wear a t-shirt that says '/y/ will rule the world'
77. buy a barbie game for his neon pink PS2
78. tell Snape he has a nice ass in front of half of the school
79. tell mad eye that he could probably have that eye fixed with surgery
80. do and interpritave dance to an announcement at Wallmart.
81. shave Hagrid's face while he was sleeping
82. start an 'I love Percy Weasley' fan club
83. kiss Fluffy
84. have a slumber party with Nevelle and Dean
85. ask Luna to make him a butterbear cork necklace too
86. get distracted and walk into a wall
87. poof himself into Harry's bed and say 'Oh I must have taken a wrong turn, I was trying to get to Ron.'
88. skip merrily down the halls singing jesus loves me
89. ask Ron to teach him the "vibrating wand" spell
90. become renown on DeviantART for his fantastic Kingdom HeartsII fanart
91. open a taco stand on the third floor
92. flutter up to Lockheart and ask for his autograph
93. dye his hair black and green and cry about how he hates life
94. develop an allergy to assholeyness
95. cosplay as Sanji from one piece
96. buy every volume of Ouran Highschool Host Club
97. insist that he is a gangster and scream 'YO BITCH!' whenever a girl looks at him
98. become addicted to power tools
99. audition for the role of 'young Simba' in Lion King on Ice
100. sing 'Have I told you latley that I love you.' top Dobby